• Driftking@lemmy.mlOP
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      39
      arrow-down
      5
      ·
      1 year ago

      For the purpose of disclosure. I just cant live with myself if I do not tell prospective partners when they ask. I know there is a difference between avoidance and lying, however, I value honesty. Not implying that you are not or should thinknas I do

      • SatansMaggotyCumFart@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        61
        arrow-down
        5
        ·
        1 year ago

        Last year I shit myself while trying to open my door and get to the bathroom.

        I dropped my keys while I was trying to unlock the door and ended up with shit in my shoes that I had to throw away.

        I never bring that up on dates.

        • DrQuint@lemm.ee
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          6
          arrow-down
          1
          ·
          1 year ago

          I can’t agree. I think people should have a friendship as strong as their romance.

          • ChrisLicht@lemm.ee
            link
            fedilink
            English
            arrow-up
            9
            arrow-down
            3
            ·
            1 year ago

            Some things are not made to be shared. You are two different people. Leave a little mystery.

            I’ve been with my partner for 27 years, so have a bit of experience to draw from.

      • TheActualDevil@sffa.community
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        4
        ·
        1 year ago

        Is it typical to give a whole run-down of your sexual history when dating? Like, I’ve mentioned previous encounters or exes when it comes up, but rarely near the beginning of the dating process. In my experience people tend to not have those discussions. Not because it’s bad but because it doesn’t matter. When I meet a new woman and start seeing them, I don’t need to hear about or care about their past relationships unless it’s something they feel they want to share for whatever reason.

        It sounds like you don’t think sex work is immoral, so I wouldn’t bring it up unless it’s something that would actually affect your current relationship. If sex is casual enough to commodify then it’s not something that would be brought up when getting to know someone. Do you also give them a run-down of every meal you’ve ever bought at restaurants?

      • jayemar@lemm.ee
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        5
        arrow-down
        2
        ·
        1 year ago

        The fact that you need to “disclose” this makes it sound like you yourself see an issue with it

    • givesomefucks@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      18
      arrow-down
      3
      ·
      1 year ago

      OP’s out there on first dates asking if they have a problem with him doing it…

      I can’t imagine women are bringing it up

      • Driftking@lemmy.mlOP
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        13
        arrow-down
        2
        ·
        1 year ago

        Not necessarily first dates. I just answer truthfully when the topic comes up. I don’t want to have it be a problem further down the line

        • givesomefucks@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          17
          arrow-down
          3
          ·
          1 year ago

          I just answer truthfully when the topic comes up

          It’s just really hard to believe a women asks if you’ve had sex with a sex worker…

          Most people don’t ask for numbers, let alone details.

          • Driftking@lemmy.mlOP
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            13
            arrow-down
            1
            ·
            1 year ago

            It has unfortunately come up before, hence my aprehension in approaching the topic.

            • melisdrawing@lemmy.world
              link
              fedilink
              arrow-up
              11
              ·
              edit-2
              1 year ago

              Seems like you got the intended consequence. If you want to be honest and your partner can’t handle that honesty, maybe it is better to keep looking. I have a very hard time maintaining lies to continue relationships, and as a result I have very few, but incredibly high-quality friends.

          • SpaceCadet@sopuli.xyz
            link
            fedilink
            English
            arrow-up
            6
            ·
            1 year ago

            It’s just really hard to believe a women asks if you’ve had sex with a sex worker…

            I’ve been asked that question, and not just one time, so I believe OP that it can sometimes come up.

            • givesomefucks@lemmy.world
              link
              fedilink
              English
              arrow-up
              3
              arrow-down
              1
              ·
              1 year ago

              Maybe because I’ve never lived somewhere it’s legal?

              Like if there were brothels in the area, maybe it would be asked more?

              • SpaceCadet@sopuli.xyz
                link
                fedilink
                English
                arrow-up
                2
                ·
                edit-2
                1 year ago

                Perhaps. It’s a legal grey area here, not strictly legal but tolerated in certain areas (red light districts), but it’s certainly not a socially acceptable thing.

          • ParsnipWitch@feddit.de
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            3
            arrow-down
            1
            ·
            1 year ago

            I ask my partners because I do not want to be with someone who pays for sex. Simply because our views on sex would be very different which leads to problems in the relationship, from my experience. Also, it would be quite dumb to lie on this because than we are both just wasting our time.