I just want to mention that this man once kicked Dave Mustaine’s dog, and got punched in the face for it.

I would also like to point out that in many stories I am far from the main character. I am simply someone that was present for something unusual. For instance, One time I accidentally hung out with a murderer a few days after he killed, but a few days before he turned himself in. He only told me this once we were alone, and he went into great detail. I’m not the main character in that one. It’s just told from my perspective.

I wouldn’t be against it. After all it’s the story of my experiences. From my point of view. So, I mean that would literally make me the main character. No “syndrome” necessary.

While I agree at least from a philosophical standpoint. I am related to too many cops. My uncle was the captain of the Birmingham police Dept. He was the last person to arrest MLK jr. before MLK assassinated. I have worked with cops. I was the bouncer at a bar and we hired cops on the weekend. Those cops were notorious for letting underage chicks in if they were hot. Also, one of the main groups that hung out at that bar were 1% motorcycle club, most of which were local cops. One time a friend flipped off a driver that almost ran us over. The driver came back and told us he was the mayor of the town and his son was chief of the police. He left and the cops showed up. They threatened us with batons and tasers. They arrested my friend for disturbing the peace. I once had a cop choke me while I was handcuffed because he couldn’t find “the dope”. Yet I can say that out of all the interactions I’ve had with cops only one was beneficial. I had a cop drive me home one night when I was walking home drunk.

So, no one should be presumed guilty until proven innocent. My experience tells me that cops are all pieces of shit and are not here for my or anyone else’s benefit, unless you have money.

Oh yeah! I almost forgot. I have a cousin that was a retired deputy. He shot and killed his drug addicted son in cold blood because he was tired of him begging. The county he was a deputy with investigated it and deemed it self defense.

I am a case study in what happens when you just go with it to an extreme. I’ve been thinking about starting a community where I share stories about things I’ve done, things that happened to me, and more importantly the people I’ve met. I’ve been to Nepal and Tibet with a new age cult. I was a homeless heroin addict for over a decade. I was a racist piece of shit until I met an hiv infected gay man that took the time to teach me about empathy, and I am eternally grateful for the lessons he taught me.

I have tons of stories like this one and more. Far far crazier ones. My mom died when I was 7 and my dad worked a whole bunch of overtime and dated a lot. I didn’t really have parents. So I collected parental figures. One was a single dad biker that looked like captain Jack sparrow, but it was the 90’s. He made dinner for me every night. That way when I left night college I had a hot meal. He passed away last week.

I had a mother figure that was like a female early cuyler from squidbillies. She was red neck as fuck and always had a .38 revolver with her. She got me my first checking account. She also sold me Xanax.

So, I was in a bar that looked just like thin in New Orleans one night. Spoiler alert, a lot of bars look like this in New Orleans. When a cop rode his horse into the bar right next to me. The bartender then took a handful of maraschino cherries and fed them to the horse. Aside from my very rational distaste for cops the horse eating cherries part was cute.

Here’s a better one for ya. If the worst thing you unknowingly put in your mouth, chew, and swallow is a little cat butt. Then, you should consider yourself lucky.

I did pest control for several years. We always said that cats are the worst pest in the house. They stomp around in a box of their own feces and urine. Then they track that all over your counter tops and furniture. They sit on you counters and furniture with a bare butthole.

I mean let’s face it. If you have a cat you’ve more than like put something in your mouth that touched their b-hole even if indirectly.

It’s crazy how that happens. At first those sweet pills weren’t bad at all. But eventually it’s like my body associated that taste with what’s about to come and tried to preemptively sabotage me. That stuff is weird.

Well, I blame the guy that taught me about it. He used to take a bunch and go to school like that. We kinda made fun of him for taking the stuff all the time.

So, one night he asks if I want to spend the night, and I say sure. My curiosity got the better of me and I told him I’d like to try it. I said that it was my first time and what’s a good beginner dose. He said 32. I said that sounded like a lot. He said 32. I said ok and took it.

At that point I had done acid several times. One time I did five hits of acid and snorted 3 fat lines (not bumps) of ketamine. I thought I had experienced wild. Up to that point I hadn’t experienced anything.

The next morning that asshole had the audacity to ask me if I was going to church with he and his family. Man, fuck that dude!

I’ve taken my fair share of DXM. The last time I did it I was hanging out with this guy. We were looking for roll or acid or both. I told him that I could make him the most fucked up he’s ever been and it’s over the counter. He called me a liar and told me to prove it.

We get back to my house and each eat 32 pills. That was 2 boxes of medicine. About three hours later. This full grown man approached me with the face of a child that had just witnessed all the horrors of WWI, and said Muhammad I’ve never been this fucked up before.

I said “I told you so. I then told him that the last time I did this I swore I’d never do it again, but I had made a special concession just for him.

We laid in my side yard in complete silence for what felt like an eternity. Staring at the stars. Only to look at a watch and realize that only 20 mins had passed.

It took 2 days to get back to normal. He didn’t hang out with me very much after that. Also, those pills had a sugar coating. The same coating name brand advil have. To this day my body won’t let me swallow anything with that sugar coating on it. I tried to take some Advil, and gagged so hard I shot the pill into my sinuses.

I know that doesn’t answer your question, but I wanted to share.

All I’m saying is that I’m from the south. So, I know a thing or two about kudzu. In my unprofessional opinion that town is a lost cause. Better to just start over somewhere else where kudzu hasn’t taken over yet. Once it takes hold it’s only a Matt of time until it takes over. Any attempts to fight it are futile. Sure you can beat it back, but it always wins in the end.

I have a 3080 ti, and a 12700k, and 32 gigs of ddr5, and a 2 terabyte ssd. It runs great for me. I don’t understand the problem. /s